Why I Cry

So I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately. My time in this current space is an unfamiliar place, one that affords me the time to look deep inside my soul. Call it a crossroads, call it a mid-life oasis, I call it a gift. I have been given an opportunity to look in the mirror of my soul and say, “who am I?” What do I stand for and what will I be remembered for. What legacy will I leave and will the people who love me and close to me really know who I am? Well, the one thing I’ll say is that looking back at my life, and I do believe I would make one hell of a movie— “An American Story, Unedited,” there seems to be a theme amplified in my life that’s represented in a series of movies. Now maybe this is a gender thing, a guy thing to be more specific, but I can watch the same movie over and over again, and not get bored. It doesn’t matter that I know the ending or the plot or what comes next even to the extent of mouthing the words before they’re said. But each time I watch one of these movies the same feelings, the same soul searching, self-reflecting outcome bores to the surface. Oh, I’ll admit some of the movies I’m talking about I’ll intentionally put in a DVD, but how cool is it when you’re flipping through the channels and oh, there it is on some obscure station that you don’t even recognize the call letters, one of your favorite movies is airing now! That makes it even better— the spontaneity of it all, the immediacy, the surprise, the self gratification. So what movies am I’m talking about? Not necessarily in this order but some of my favorites are: “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “Cinderella Man,” “Pursuit of Happyness,” “Invincible,” “Rocky lll” and “Remember The Titans.” Yeah, there’s another tier, like “Gladiator,” “Shawshank  Redemption” and “Philadelphia,” but the first tier has everything that life has to offer. They’re microcosms of life as I know it, with the pain, hope, adversity, perseverance, agony, defeat, victory, happy endings and a spirit that rings true with all of us. So yes, I could watch them 100 times, again and again and I will always cry when Jimmy Braddock (Cinderella Man) wins the heavyweight title, against all odds, and the part when he’s asked “what’s different this time around, “what are you fighting for,” and he answers “milk.” Because he knows the pain, he remembers where he came from, the struggles that he went through, the despair, the hope the endurance of the human spirit. That is the common thread with all of these movies. That is why I cry. That is why I can watch them again and again. Because as James Bailey says, ” I want to live again.” So what does all this have to do with anything? Because it is life’s experiences that makes us who we are, how we live our lives and what our values are. And if you happened to be in the communications business, I believe it is the makeup of one’s self that allows us to connect, to experience, to understand and to communicate. Take away all the bells and whistles and what we have is our basic human emotions. I can connect with that.

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